German cheeseburger in a can

More “food” from abroad: a burger-in-a-can from Germany!  (a.k.a. “Cheeseburger in der Dose”)  Whenever you crave a not-quite-fresh taste of a whole burger — “bun”, “meat”, “tomato”, “cheese” and all — pop open this can for a real “treat”!

Count those ingredients…  There’s something so cool about a whole, dry burger in a can.

Actually I’ve been told that this tastes and feels disgusting, and that no one should ever, ever suffer through eating this. I’m afraid that if I crack it open, it will behave something like a Pandora’s box, or that crazy Ark from Indiana Jones, releasing all sorts of swirly evil things I’ll not want to remember.  Assuming I survive.  That’s why it’s still sitting unopened in my living room as a paperweight, always emitting an aura of simultaneous temptation and foreboding, much like the One Ring in Lord of the Rings.

Any food that you can only buy online and that conjures up so many allusions of destruction really ought to be handled carefully.